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[Bisexual] [Lesbian] [Transgender] [Coming Out]
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Lesbian
Information|
Lesbian.co.nz for information on tonnes of lesbian stuff happening around the country (NZ). Their bookstore section is awesome! |
Transgender
Information
Coming Out| Questions to ask before coming out | |
| Coming Out Story |
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Written by Becky
If you're anything like me, you're always up for a good read...particularly if the main character is a woman, and even more so if she's queer >:) So here is a list of books that we've read/heard of that contain queer women...
Tipping the Velvet by Sarah Waters. Tipping the Velvet is a period piece about a woman named Nancy and her adventures (mostly with women!). It's a great story and a great read. Two very enthusiastic thumbs up! Oh and make sure you see the movie too...
Dare Truth or Promise by Paula Boock. This book is awesome if you're looking for a cute love story. Set in the '90s (in Dunedin!!!!!), two high-school girls fall in love...
Anything by Stella Duffy - Stella Duffy was brought up in New Zealand, and was a stand-up comedian for a while, so you can imagine what her books are like! Here are the two that I've read:
Singling out the Couples by Stella Duffy. Very cynical and very funny! While not overly queer, there is a little lesbian content.
Calendar Girl by Stella Duffy. The detective is a lesbian, what more can we say?
Thendara House by Marion Zimmer Bradley. An early work of Bradley's that I read last Summer - Definitely worth a read if you are into science fiction/fantasy novels. There are all-women communities...
The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley. Just another awesome read if you're into sci fi/fantasy. Although not blindingly obvious, there are queer moments...
Written on the Body by Jeanette Winterson.
Small blurbs to come soon... in the meantime, here are a list of some we've seen.
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But I'm a Cheerleader | |
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Tipping the Velvet | |
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Bound | |
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Better Than Chocolate | |
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The Incredible Story of 2 Girls in Love | |
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Go Fish | |
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Claire of the Moon | |
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Julie Johnson | |
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Kissing Jessica Stein | |
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"Show Me Love" aka Fucking Amal | |
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Chasing Amy |
to buy/find more lesbian flicks!
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(taken from Outyouth Austin)
Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) has done so much to help families and individuals cope with the process of coming to terms with sexual identity in our children, our friends, or other family, and just in general. They provide a wealth of resources and their meetings at chapters throughout the country provide a forum for discussion on a wide variety of issues. We have included here one small resource that we thought would be useful for questioning youth that might visit our website.
Questions to Consider Before Coming Out
1. Are you sure about your sexual orientation?
Don't raise the issue unless you're able to respond with confidence to the
question "Are you sure?" Confusion on your part will increase your
parents' confusion and decrease their confidence in your conclusions.
2. Are you comfortable with your sexuality?
If you're wrestling with guilt or depression, you'll be better off waiting to
tell your parents. Coming out to them may take tremendous energy on your part;
it will require a reserve of positive self-image.
3. Do you have support?
In the event that your parents' reaction devastates you, there should be someone
or a group you can turn to for emotional support and strength. Maintaining your
sense of self-worth is critical.
4. Are you knowledgeable about homosexuality?
Your parents may respond based on a lifetime of information from a homophobic
society. If you do some serious reading on the subject, you can share with them
reliable information and research.
5. What's the emotional climate at home?
If you have the choice of when to tell, consider the timing. Choose a time when
they're not dealing with such matters as the death of a close friend, pending
surgery, or the loss of a job.
6. Can you be patient?
Your parents will require time to deal with this information if they haven't
considered it prior to your sharing. The process may last from six months to
several years.
7. What's your motive for coming out now?
Hopefully, it is because you love them and are uncomfortable with the distance
you feel. Never come out in anger or during a argument, using your sexuality as
a weapon.
8. Do you have available resources?
Most non-gay people know little about homosexuality. Have available at least one
of the following: a book for parents; a contact for the local or national
Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays; the name of a non-gay counselor who
can deal fairly with the issue.
9. Are you financially dependent on your
parents?
If you suspect they are capable of withdrawing college finances or forcing you
out of the house, you may choose to wait until they do not have this weapon to
hold over you.
10. What is your general relationship with
your parents?
If you've gotten along well, and have always known their love - and shared your
love for them in return- chances are they'll be able to deal with the issues in
a positive way.
11. What is their moral societal view?
If they tend to see social issues as good/bad or holy/sinful, they may have
serious problems dealing with your sexuality. If, however, they've evidenced a
degree of flexibility when dealing with other changing societal matters, you may
be able to anticipate a willingness to work this through with you.
12. Is this your decision?
Not everyone should come out to their parents. Don't be pressured into it if
you're not sure you'll be better off by doing so - no matter what their
response.
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